Tuesday, April 10, 2018

A Woman’s story
By Christian Allamby
It starts with you, what they tell every child
It starts with you, “damn I haven’t had a boy in a while”
Fourth trial should be a man just like me, isn’t that wild
Disappointed by my gender, I guess this reality now

Said that you would praise me, but just left my mother to raise me
Don’t go and have another girl, you always see us as lazy
A waste of time to have me
You probably think we mistakes, you probably think we’re only here for sweating the kitchen and handing you cake

My father treating me like my boss now, another man who won’t provide me my raise
I do just as much work as you, but I’m forced to hide around, locked in your safe
He's been so fond of color, let's see what happens when he meets my red
Been so hesitant to show it, my rage feels too powerless to shed

What a phenomenal color, most women wear it on both sides
“She claims her color shows inside and out, but she's just being difficult”
“Flammable fumes, she wants to show red, so ima make her sad, deep down and depressed”
“Claim i cant change you, but my views is what's gonna save you”

The definition of men is crazy
Advocated by thoughts to bring their son to the light, but give their daughters less than a smile and a ride to school once their entire life
Because that life for me was like every six months, mom had to carry me for nine… just for you to go express yourself towards other woman like mom was your slave on the side

“You should run to my words”
“These are your tasks, now cook something good”
“Don’t you dare to talk back”
“Ms. do I make myself clear, or am I misunderstood”

I think my ears work perfectly, tired of hiding bruises under my hood
Never preached for robin to come get me, another man that’ll never look
Look through your blinded eyes, justice will soon reach present times
You know your “perfect” windows will never be tinted, so be satisfied with not having another guy

All you did was ruin my mirrored dreams
Thought who planted me as my father, wouldn’t just whine and scream
2018, might turn you into another dad meme
Disgrace to the human species, you and the men that raped our goals instead of treating us like your picture perfect queen

I’m not your shelter, someone for you to bury your anger
Feel like i've been homeless all my life, you've provided me nothing but danger
Better off with a stranger or running away to become my own leader
Even though most men will deny my victory I’m not someone who’ll serve you like a waiter

Was I ever important, oh wait you’re too busy to deny it
How'd you bring mom that diamond, but wait until you’re out the public to display abuse
Talk all about me, running my mouth, but you could never spill the truth
A part of many chapters in my life, I hope I become good enough to publish it

The world should see you suffer, forget tough love, it’s over
No changing the bruises and scars on my skin
You won’t change for us, there is no “depend”
Open ended regret, swallow your pride because now you're the “GIRL”  within

Wanna be number 1 on the rafters, congratulations you worked 8 hours
Treat them 8 hours like forced labor, abuse me, but speak in a tone like childish laughter
Won’t let me have a phone, won’t let me acknowledge a real man
Is this your plan, indoctrinate my gender, so I feel like I’m on foreign lands

Nothing is enough, won’t let me leave the house unless I’m covered
“Talk to me nice or I’ll make you see blue for not putting my fork and spoon on the right side next to the butter”
How I know your heart is black?
Failed as a father, so don't fight the firing, you can take your own guilt out back, I heard depression’s hiring

You don’t cry when I’m facing struggles
You just lie, missed the moment when I blew my first bubble
But of course you're late, probably at the bar or disgracing mother’s name
Could give no care in the world, but still try and prevent your little girl from having fame
I guess I’ll force my dreams of having a good dad to the side, teach my son how women can be the best part of your life

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